Jesus is approached by some Pharisees and they ask him if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife. We are told they asked him this question in order to put him to the test. Jesus clearly is not happy with this teaching and says Moses allowed divorce to accommodate the moral weakness of the people. He challenges this stand with words from the creation story in Genesis (1:27; 2:24): “…God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” After marriage, then, he says that there are not two separate people but one body. And from that Jesus concludes: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Two comments we should take note of. First, Jesus is attacking a situation where men, when they got tired of their spouse and found someone more interesting, simply wrote a piece of paper and unilaterally dumped the first wife, leaving her high and dry. Jesus rightly deplores such a situation. His final remark indicates something new for his time (and often not yet accepted in our own): equal rights and equal responsibilities for both partners. Women are not commodities to be picked up and dropped off at will.
Second, divorce as we experience it in our society today, often involves a genuine breakdown in the marriage relationship which neither partner wishes and which is a cause of deep pain and suffering to both sides. It may be due to some element of immaturity at the time of marriage or the partners growing apart as they develop as persons. Whatever the reason, this situation is quite different from the one Jesus is speaking of.
Most people enter into marriage with goodwill and with the intention of having an enduring, lifelong relationship. It is a hope sometimes not realised. At the same time, we also have in our society today a pluralistic approach to the concept of marriage from merely seeing it as two people living together “as long as it feels good” to those who believe in marriage as a permanent relationship “in good times and bad”.
We need to remember that the Church accepts that marriages can break down and that for various reasons the couple may need to have their separation made legal by a divorce settlement in court. What the Church forbids is remarriage within the Church absent a formal tribunal annulment declaration. Many Catholics do remarry in a civil ceremony and we need to deal with such people with great sympathy and understanding if they express a sincere desire to remain active members of the Christian community.
The ideal that Jesus proposes remains, but a changing society may need a different approach to marriage where the emphasis is more on the relationship and less on the legal contract. A truly pastoral Church will help people live the Gospel in such a changing sociological situation.
– Fr. Donatus Onumaechi
The Evening Chapel 